Chris Dobey's Page

I know many of us don't know each other but will in the coming months. But, I wanted all of you to know who I am and why I am here.

In the days following the election and the passage of Amendment 2, like many of you it began to sink in how many of our fellow Floridians, either through ignorance or hatred or lack of preparation to vote, sent a message that intolerance is alive and well in Florida. On that Friday, I decided to send an email to all of my friends and family committing that I would do something - however small - to help undo this amendment.

I mulled over it for days, thinking it had to be perfect, editing, revising - until Keith Olbermann made his wonderful statement. I sent mine within minutes. This was my email:

Dear Friend,

On Nov. 4, in Florida, California, Arizona, and several other states, voters passed amendments or propositions limiting the rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans-gender citizens. Of course, there is argument here in Florida that the same amendment limits rights to some heterosexual couples also. But, at this time, my concern is for the LGBT community. I know that everyone I send this to did not agree with my position on the issue. My hope is that you maintain an open mind long enough to read this in its entirety. That’s all I ask – because this is very personal for me.

As most of you know, my son is gay. He was a wonderful child to raise – a loving, gentle, open soul. I once told him, when he was very young, that if he just hit his sister back one time, she probably wouldn’t hit him again – but he refused. He didn’t want to hit anyone. I felt bad that I had even suggested it. He had an infectious laugh, loved drawing, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and collected X-Men comics. He camped in the backyard with his friends. In high school, he participated in drama and developed an interest in cars.

I do admit that prior to learning that he was gay, I didn’t give much thought to the issues of LGBT people. So, I totally understand those in that position. But, I can tell you that once someone so close to you comes out, your world must change. At first, I felt that my little boy was gone – there was a sense of loss. It was painful. But, you all know how you project how your child’s life will be – somewhat subconsciously – from the time they are infants. They’ll go to college, marry a nice girl, and have children. But, those were my thoughts and dreams, not reality. It took some time until I kicked myself in the butt and told myself – “Hey, he’s the same person; some people actually DO lose their children. Snap out it!”

Today, he is a man who has many good friends, and he is a loyal friend to all of them. He still studies cars religiously – knows what’s on the horizon, what’s the best value. He volunteers with a rescue group and plans to adopt a rescue dog himself. He works, pays taxes, and wants to buy a home. He still has that infectious laugh.

He has a wonderful partner that has become another son to me. They have been together for six years. They live their lives quietly as most of us do – work, friends, vacations, planning their futures. However, even though they are as committed as my husband and I are to each other, their plans are much different than ours. The way they think as a couple is different and must be – because their love and commitment to each other is denied by their own government – the same government who gladly accepts their tax money. Businesses love their gay clientele because, statistically, they have more disposable income than those raising families. Yet, some of those same business owners voted to restrict their rights as citizens of their state.

I worry about my son every day. I worry that someone who doesn’t even know him and because they’ve got some testosterone overload, or maybe are afraid of being “turned” gay, or whatever other bullshit reason these people have, will take it out on my son.

I don’t know if my son even wants to get married. But, he was born in this country, he is contributing to this country, and he is as much a Child of God – if not more – than that 62% of Florida voters who supported Amendment 2. Gay people are not asking for a mandate that churches should be forced to perform marriages of LGBT people. This is not a religious issue. Talk to them, learn the issue – don’t just listen to some anonymous .com group, or a pastor who is passing on his church’s stance. Learn and think for yourselves. No, feel. Put yourself in their shoes. These are not damaged, evil miscreants. These are human beings that, if you believe in Jesus Christ, were created in his image just as you were. Perhaps - no, doubtless - Christ has more facets than we humans can comprehend.

This commentary puts my thoughts into words much better than I could have imagined - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkzwJXDZ7aU&feature=related

To my point – from this day forward, I will not tolerate or keep my mouth shut when I hear a slur against gays. I will not sit on the sidelines while the rest of us enjoy our pursuit of happiness and gays cannot. And, I will not tolerate the intolerance of groups who preach hatred or intolerance of gay people. I will do this for my son and for all of the wonderful people I’ve met through him and in my life that are treated as less of a person than I.

I am proud of who my son is and wouldn’t change him for the world…….

Chris

(Names have been omitted as a courtesy since this is posted on the internet)